


Line them up

by Port_in_a_Storm



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationships, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 01:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5073301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Port_in_a_Storm/pseuds/Port_in_a_Storm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam, Jackson, Ed, Robert</p>
            </blockquote>





	Line them up

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, the support for 'Visiting hours' was out of this world! Thank you all so much! If I do continue with that, it won't be for a while. I'm actually trying to work on a multi-chapter fic right now. But in the meantime, have another short one!

Aaron didn’t think he’d ever get over Adam. He was his first real crush, and his best friend. Adam had stuck by him through everything. He even accepted Aaron when he found out Aaron was gay. Back then, that was the worst thing Aaron could conceive of – that Adam would find out his darkest secret. But they remained close friends. Aaron had wanted more, but he’d learnt to accept it. Even so... Aaron didn’t think he’d ever get over Adam.

Jackson changed everything. He was everything Aaron wasn’t: confident, kind, gentle. How a man like that had the misfortune to end up with someone like Aaron, the younger man would never know, but he thanked his luck that he did. Although Jackson would probably give that dopey smile that made Aaron’s heart do weird and wonderful things and say that he was the lucky one. When Aaron half-arsedly asked Jackson to marry him, he was whole-heartedly serious. He could not imagine spending his life with anyone else. When the end came, creeping up on Aaron like a terrible nightmare, Aaron could not imagine living his life without the man he had come to love with every fibre of his being. Jackson changed everything.

Ed was nice. He was kind and caring. Except for their first meeting when – the bastard – he had driven off after Aaron had fixed his van without paying the full bill. The memory still brought a smile to his face though. Aaron had loved him. Or at least, he had grown to love him. It was a bit too soon after Jackson to give himself totally to someone else. But they had moved to France together, had lived together for a year and a half. It was the longest relationship Aaron had had. It had helped that Ed was as fit as a god, and built like a brick wall. He was the only man who could manhandle Aaron the way he realised he loved; he needed. As great as it was though, and on the good days it _was_ great, it didn’t stop a little voice in the back of Aaron’s head questioning if this was what he really wanted. When they ended it, he was (he was ashamed to admit) almost relieved. He wanted more than to just _settle_ ; he wanted a love that would take his breath away. And Ed wasn’t it. Ed was nice.

Robert was... a tosser. A scumbag. An absolute waste of Aaron’s love and tears. He was selfish and conceited. He cared about nothing but himself. Even his life with Chrissie had only been so important because it gave him money and status. No good could have come out of loving him. And yet... and yet Aaron did. He loved him more than he thought he could love anyone. He had never felt for Robert what he felt for anyone else. Not even Jackson. The thought sent a lightning bolt of shame through his stomach. How could he love this horrible, arrogant prick more than the best man he had ever known?... Because, when they are together, Robert makes him feel like no one else ever has. Aaron is gentle in all the ways that matter when Robert smiles at him. He makes Aaron feel on top of the world when he shows any sense of pride in what Aaron accomplishes. When Robert holds him, Aaron doesn’t feel weak: he feels the strongest he ever has felt. He feels more important than Adam could make him feel, the love he feels for Robert reaches what he felt for Jackson and outshines it, he could never feel like he’s just _settling_ for Robert, or that Robert is just settling for him. Robert takes his breath away whenever he walks into a room. Aaron falls in love with him over and over every day. There is no such thing as Robert _was_... Robert _is_.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise, Ed fans. He was a... nice guy, but I just found him a bit 'meh'.


End file.
